Humor for Adults
Who Can Handle
Adult Humor

— by Len Kennedy, Esq.








An Introduction to
the Slapdash Mishmash

Each of the following pieces is what I call a Slapdash Mishmash, or Qluztyrphuk.  It’s a form of writing that can be called lexicocentric, which is to say, vocabulary-centered (from Late Greek lexiko-, from Greek lexikon [word] + Medieval Latin -centricus, from Latin centrum [center]) as opposed to ideocentric, or idea-centered.

     Allow me to elaborate.

     I’ve recently been playing around with a new, experimental, and (I think) wholly unique way of writing.  Rather than first figuring out what I’ll be writing about and then finding the words that will best express my thoughts and feelings about that chosen subject, I make a list of words that I find aesthetically pleasing and write about whatever associations those words trigger.

     Whereas I’m obviously not the first person to use a word as a catalyst to spark an idea, or even a whole series of ideas, I’m pretty sure I’m the first to use this modus operandi throughout a whole piece — throughout a whole series of pieces.

     The importance of this “paradigm shift” — this taking of the conventional approach to writing and turning it on its head — cannot be overemphasized.  This is bound to have serious repercussions throughout the entire world.

     After the publication of this landmark work, civilization will never be the same again.  It will cause a paradigm shift not only in the minds of all writers and artists, but in the minds of all thinking people (and maybe even a few religious fundamentalists).

     Hunters, for example — rather than knowing what animals they’ll be hunting and then selecting the weapons and ammunition that would best take out their chosen game — will now choose the coolest guns and ammo beforehand and just haphazardly plink away at anything they chance upon, either in the wild or in the city . . . and preferably in the city.

     To repeat:


THE IMPORTANCE OF THIS PARADIGM SHIFT CANNOT BE OVEREMPHASIZED!!!OH MY GOD I THINK I JUST MADE A FUCK IN MY PANTS (@_@)


(Well, maybe.)


Beware the Schizophrenic Word Salad

The name Slapdash Mishmash, if taken too literally, can be a bit misleading, because, although the first stage is slapdash — since you’re essentially just throwing together a bunch of, for the most part, unrelated words — it is paramount that you read your first draft critically and be absolutely brutal when revising what you’ve written . . . and to keep revising it till it’s as close to your ideal of perfection as possible.

     In fact, part of the challenge of writing a Slapdash Mishmash is bringing order to chaos — making an incoherent list of words into something coherent — rather than merely puking out a discombobulating schizophrenic word salad.  After all, just juxtaposing a bunch of polysyllabic words in a nonsensical manner makes for laborious and unrewarding reading.


The Beauty of the Slapdash Mishmash

The Slapdash Mishmash may not be able to cure all of society ills, but it can cure at least one of the more annoying ones: Modern writers seem to be telling the same old stories over and over, ad nauseam.  But you’d actually have to go out of your way to be boring and repetitive while writing a Slapdash Mishmash.

     The beauty of the Slapdash Mishmash is that the playful frivolity gives rise to creativity; the associations an arbitrarily chosen word triggers will allow you to conjure up truly creative and original ideas that you never would have thought of had you written in the traditional manner.  And you’ll also improve your vocabulary, since the natural way to learn words is by using them in context, so that they get incorporated into your vocabulary.  So check it out, pilgrim. . . .

Jumpin’ Jesus on a pogo stick!

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Home | LenKen Photo Essay | Part I: Quips & Squibs | Part II: Intermezzo: Bad Poetry for Bad People | Part III: Weird Stories for Weird People | Addendum: The Slapdash Mishmash: A Legacy | Appendage: Short Essays on Long Topics | Preamble: A Brief History of Me | Preface: Freedom of Speech versus Freedom from Speech | Prelude: Maturity versus Immaturity | Prologue: Strength versus Weakness | Prolusion: The Period: Dickens Redux | Quips & Squibs | Universal Rules of Etiquette | A Writer and His Hookers | The Sadistic News Network | Books That Cause a Tingling Sensation in My Left Testicle | Alternative Uses for a Brick | A Calm and Rational Analyis of Winter | Odium | Drivel, Blather, Prattle, and Twaddle | Bad Pick-Up Lines | Bilge, Dreck, Tripe, and Schlock for Schlemiels, Schlimazels, Schmucks, and Schmegegges | Arizona | Chickens | If You Make a Girl Snicker, She May Let You Lick Her | A Lesbian’s Lament | THC | Ode to the Paperboy | Sesquipedalian Love Song | Interview with a Petulant Old Shrew | Interview with a Persnickety, Pugnacious Pedant | A Freak Like Me | I Have Weird Dreams | A Long, Hard Look at Gun Control | Readings in the Cassandra Times | The Infamous Stickflipper | Keeping a Kennedy Tradition Alive | The Stalker | Lucy in the Sky with Dysentery | Beyond God & Devil | Pile of Nothing | How to Quit Smoking and Die Anyway | Epilogue: Quirky Colloquy: A Play in One Act | An Introduction to the Slapdash Mishmash | Poppycock? | Der Klusturfuk der Katzenjammer | The Cowardice of One’s Convictions: Cognitive Dissonance Theory in a Nutshell | Controlling Your Emotions before They Control You: Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy in a Nutshell | Why We Should Be Dying to Live Rather than Living to Die | About the Author | Sign My Guestbook